Yesterday, post midnight, I sat discussing the praying mantis with my friend. What sets the praying mantis apart from its other insect buddies is that the female praying mantis, after mating with the male, bites off his head. Feminists should make the praying mantis their poster girl. Who else embodies their aspirations so perfectly?
But if the mantis isn't floating their boat, they could have a look at the protagonist of the movie Teeth, who turns her vulnerability as a sexual prey into a weapon of, shall we say, mass destruction?
This post will proceed to review a movie more ridiculous than Twilight [yes, something is indeed more preposterous than it]. So, let's sink our teeth into the movie.
The Teeth is about a girl who has - wait for it - teeth in her vagina. She has teeth in her mouth, too, by the way. But let's not digress. So, the teeth which do not belong where they are perform the function of a pepper spray for the girl, albeit at a much later stage. She uses it to: bite off the finger of a perverted male gynaecologist; bite the apparatus of a boyfriend who forced himself upon her; bite off the equipment [do we see a pattern here?] of her degenerate stepbrother and release it on the ground for her dog to devour [ummmm, it must have been lip-smackingly delicious]. I hope she didn't bite off more than she could chew.
This movie is so bizarre that it is actually entertaining, in a droll fashion. But I was left with one question at the end of it: did she brush her teeth twice daily? Because it is just so important to
10 comments:
awesomely super funny ironicall sads is the man woo hoo go sads
How can you review a movie that you haven't even watched? And you didn't even mention my name! :(
LOL! nice one redsad :) You surprised me by your wacky sense of humor ;) bravo. :D
Haw!
I surprised you?! :/ I thought you KNEW I was smart and wacky and funny. :P
hahaha! lovely! :)
i love praying mantis', btw.
hahaha! lovely! :)
i love praying mantis', btw.
lolzzz
btw, did you know that the movie is actually critically acclaimed.
And that it received the Spike TV Scream 'most memorable mutilation' award for 'penis bitten off by vagina with teeth'!!
@Sad... you wish I knew u were wacky nd funny :P
but yes, like I always say, u do write well ;)
I know i am digressing but FYI.
As far as the praying mantis goes, it may bite off the head before, during or immediately after the male mounts.
Of course, it would make more sense for her to do it after copulation, but the loss of the head does not seem to throw the rest of the male's body off its sexual stride. Indeed, since the insect head is the seat of some inhibitory nerve centres*, it is possible that the female improves the male's sexual performance by eating his head. If so, this is an added benefit. The primary one is that she obtains a good meal. :P
*Richard Dawkins. The Selfish Gene :)
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